So… I am pretty happy to know that my therapist agrees with me, without me saying a word, that we are done. Of course, one is never fully done dealing with their issues and fears. But I have done quite a bit of work. I am nicer with myself. And I am stronger. And it all worked out slowly, without even me noticing it. I know that I still will have to work things out. I will have to watch myself, so I don’t get too scared or freaked out by others and the feelings I think they might have toward me. I don’t mean love, but mostly stuff such as “do they like me or not”, “is he or she mad at me”, etc.
Now, my back is also still fairly good. I am doing some private coaching too in my crossfit gym. And it’s pretty awesome. I learn to eat a bit differently, and I am not gaining weight. This was a major fear for me, when adding more calories to my days. But I am good. So I guess I was undereating before. That is a good lesson for all of you. Sometimes we think, eating less means losing weight or not gaining any. Well, this shows that it is wrong. I am eating a bit more and not gaining any weight. Even losing a bit. Now we’ll see if I manage to hit my goals. Also, I cannot just keep having a coach forever cause it sure costs quite a bit of money! And one gotta be wise and cautious.
As for the love… well nothing to report. I think that this was part of my therapy as well. How to say no, how to remain strong when people insist. How to decline any… unwanted interests, even when I feel alone and like it is not possible to find real sincere love. Because it sure seems impossible to me. Like I cannot believe it is possible. But I refuse to settle for less, to settle with sex when I want more. So… I am true to myself. I remain strong. I don’t give in. I don’t sell myself short. I stand up for what I want and what I know I am worth. It might never come, or it could… who knows. But I will feel peaceful until the end and happy within, knowing that I am not living something that I feel is not designed for my heart.
I can only encourage you to do it also! Work on yourself. Physically and mentally, emotionnally and spiritually. Just know your worth. Know how strong you are and what you deserve. Go after your goals and always know you can improve your inner self!
Overcoming hardships 