Where are the warriors? Where are the knights in their shining armor (the one they use for official events, not the one that’s all beaten up because of the battles they’ve been in)? Where are they?
We certainly don’t live in a fairy tale world. Men fight in video games… not in real life. Well, of course, that is not taking into consideration the soldiers or law officers, and so on. But not my point here… “Warrior” and “knight” would be mostly a state of mind. A state of mind that has more or less vanished.
A warrior would fight for what he believes in, for what he wants. It can be a country or a cause, but I think it is mostly linked to a love for others. A desire to protect his family, his people… a desire to defend a cause that is somehow related to others. Certainly it can also be to show their worth, their strength… to pursue their destiny and ambitions. That is not so wrong. It’s a manly thing to do.
But a warrior and a knight… then what is it? To me it is: a protector, a loyal man, a manly man, a man with “quests” beyond himself, a man who puts others first, a man one can lean on and trust, a wise thinker, self-controlled, but a fighter who doesn’t give up, a man who pursues his dreams and what he wants. This man is no liar… this man is strong yet can open up. He has an armor to protect him because his heart is tender. This man is real about who he is; this man knows his weaknesses and works on them. This man can lead others and be an example; he wants to make a difference. This man will fight for others most of all, but he will remember his priorities too. And if you are his princess, he will NEVER forget it and make sure you know it!
Certainly he does not literally fight against other men. It can happen… but again, not the point. There are enough things in life we got to fight against, such as: those with bad intentions, those who cannot be honest and will step on you if needed, those who will use you to get what they want, those who will not face their own issues and blame you instead, the power hungry people, the tragic events that can happen in one’s life, the hard times when a plan goes awry or when something negative happens… A lot of things come up every day in front of which we have to stay strong.
So where are those warriors? Where are those men who do not play games? Those men who will want to protect you? Those men who will respect and hear you. Those who know that a heart is a precious thing to not be taken lightly, or NOT to be taken AT ALL if you do not want it. I am sure some exists… They have to!
But let me tell you what a warrior is not… A warrior is not someone who fights stupid battles for their own ego, who tries to get more power and more money, who will beat up someone (physically or emotionally) to prove their worth, who will act up like a strong man but not owning his true feelings. A knight is not someone who will take but not give, who will let you fight alone against your own battles, who will use his ambitions and his adventurous spirit as an excuse to get away from you for a while… The warrior will stand by your side. The warrior will not run… the warrior will keep fighting when things are tougher, he will not give up on his quests because it is too complicated. He will not be scared by your passion and intensity. He will not be scared by your emotions. He will be able to confront you if you go beyond what is reasonable, but with love and understanding.
As women, if we do want a warrior… we do have to understand that they have their quests. That they have dreams to pursue, that they might have other people to protect and other companions during their quests. You have your place in the warrior’s life, it’s a special place. Don’t get jealous of the role others might have in your warrior’s journey. Don’t try to slow him down, to isolate him, to make him the home warrior. Instead support him, encourage him, believe in his quests for him when he wants to give up. Help if you can too… no one said women cannot be warriors as well.
If you want a warrior, you need to LET HIM BE ONE. But make sure he is one… for real. Not a poser. Not one who’s got the exterior of a warrior, but not the heart. You won’t make him into one. It’s a choice. A choice of the heart… that will also require courage and bravery. To be a warrior, he has to face his fears and be honest about them. He has to put his heart into something, and it is scary to do as it could break him. You cannot do that for him.
I am no princess… I am more of a small warrior myself. But it is time to see who they warriors are… To keep my place as the lady and to give him the space to be the warrior or to be on his way. And after all… being who I am, I think I am kind of a crazy quest too!!! So he better be a strong one!!