Moving on can be such a hard thing to do. Why? Because we hold on to hope and want to believe things can still happen. Or because we try to make sense of something and we need to understand. We are stuck in a situation that is not satisfying us in a way or another.
I am sure there is a timing for everything. We need to be ready to move on. We need to come to terms with the situation. To accept that we cannot change anything. Or accept that things will not go our way. We probably also need to know that we’ve tried our hardest to maybe fix or understand things… and that now it’s time to let go.
I wonder if some people let go too early. If they move on when they should just keep on trying harder. But how long should we try for? When do we know we gotta stop?
I doubt there is any definite answer. It all depends on so many factors. But I do think that some people give up too fast.
For example, some things are worth fighting for. It could be from a bad situation that created a lot of negative effects on your behavior. It is good to deal with it so that you can move on FREE from it. In that kind of situations, I believe we need to resolve as much as possible before moving on… because otherwise it would always come back to haunt us and take us down.
Also a marriage is another example. We shouldn’t move on so quickly to the next person, the next period of new singlehood. Marriage is a big thing. And before you decide to finally move on, you should try your hardest to make it work. To fix the issues… to work on yourself. To try and make it all be good again or better. In some cases there might not be any choice but to move on… but not before everything has been done. At least this is what I think and it is a general thought of course.
And for smaller things such as… having to give up a dream? or getting over a person? How long is long enough? When should we stop hoping and focus on our lives… what is going on and working out for us? Again, there is no general rule.
Let me share a story with you… H. met K. in 2001. For two years they went to school together. I think rapidly he fell for her. In 2015 they got married. I think that maybe in 2011 or 2010 she finally opened up to him. And they finally started dating. I don’t know the FULL story. But if you want an example of someone who NEVER gave up or moved on… well you got it here! And he was right not to! This shows that every story is different… so when should you trust your heart or guts? When should you listen to reason and move on?
I guess we gotta be honest with ourselves. We gotta trust our hearts. We gotta see when it is time to do our best to move on. When we are ready to let go… And only times can do that. So we got to give things time. I think that is important and should be the first step. But then we cannot hold on to it for too long… The danger would be that then we would forget about our daily life, we would not live in the present and would struggle so badly that life would become miserable. This would be wrong.
- Take the time to try and figure things out. Work on it with all that you have. Give it all, 100%.
- Be honest with yourself after some time. Is it making your life miserable? Are you simply being stubborn?
- Either keep pushing… until you need to go back to number 2 or it all works out. OR now decide to move on.
- Take the time to move on… be patient with yourself. Discipline your thoughts and emotions. Redirect them. And see the life you have, live in the present. Be grateful.
- Learn from it all during the entire time.
Easier said than done… but those are good steps I think. It is all a work in progress after all! We live and learn… We grow.