I am a Christian. I believe in God and do my best to involve Him in everything. I am trying to search His will, follow His lead, find my destiny.

While we are dealing with life and its ugly parts, it can be hard to just keep moving forward. Because if you try so hard to involve God, where was He when you got hurt badly? When that man walked away without any hesitation… where was He? So you gotta deal with the bitterness, the anger, the frustration, the impossibility to understand too…

But then, do you stay in that negative and dark place? Or do you try to forgive and forget? To find again the hope and the optimism you should feel? Should you remember that faith is about believing in what you don’t see? Thinking there is a bigger plan that will work out for you? Yes you should… but it can be hard. Yet, if it is hard to believe it… you should do it anyways. That is my thought.

And so, while I am struggling, I choose to obey. I believe that I am to follow a course that was twice mentioned to me (by the same person who doesn’t know me personally)… and it goes with the line of things I want to pursue in my spiritual journey. So I am going after it even if at first I didn’t want to do so. It means money, it means time, it means challenges. But I will do it. Just like I will take time off to go translate a conference in order for people in my church to hear from God. So anyways… I am pushing through.

During those times I know it seems like we might be swimming in muddy water. And it’s hard. I don’t swim well personally… and we get splashed, sinking here and there, trying to reach the shore. We get scratched in the water, not seeing where we are walking. It’s a pain. It’s long. It’s tiring and never-ending. But what can you do?

I refuse to just let myself be down and depressive… I am seeking some counseling as well and pursuing with my faith. That is all I can do. I want His guidance, even if it scares me. So that is all we can do.

I want to say… never give up. Keep swimming, keep moving forward. Keep going and seeing the hope, the happy things in life. Don’t quit and don’t give up.


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