When you have a broken heart, your mind can go places where you end up simply torturing yourself. Well maybe not everybody does that… I hope so! But I do…
And as I drive by bridal stores, I realize that now she can think of marrying you one day and wearing one of these. She can dare imagining the whole day and what she’d want. She can dare thinking about the family you could have together. She has this… opening. She has the key to let her mind go that way.
As I think of this summer and of people going on vacation, I realize that you might very well be thinking together of where to go. What city will you visit? What kind of holiday will you try to have together? Sea and beach? Mountain and hiking? City and being a tourist? A mix of it all? Near or far? Short or long stay? You can think of doing things together in the future because you’re not alone anymore.
When I watch tv on my own or lay in my bed at night, there is an empty space next to me. One day I imagined you filling it… but now that space next to you is filled by her. She is the last face you see at night and the first you see in the morning. The one who is welcome into your arms for some cuddling. She gets the good night kisses.
I guess whether I think of the present or the future… I just cannot think of you with me anymore. Because she is there… and it’s life. And I’ll overcome it at some point. I’ll move on because humans are good to do so and because it’s not like this had been the most incredible love story that lasted for years and suddenly ended. Some stories are way worse. Mine is just another broken heart.
So while I cannot imagine my wedding (with you or anyone), while I cannot plan a vacation with you, while I am alone in my apartment… while you are with her… I keep moving forward and I keep on looking at the great things this life has to offer. I am still motivated to try and learn, to take new steps in order to improve in different areas. I won’t let that take me down or take me out. I got reason to fight… and I am. Even if right now, my biggest enemy is my own mind.