I am sure many of you, ladies, heard that kind of advice before or even gave it to a woman… “Don’t be too availabe”, “Let him work for you”, “Don’t be too easy”, etc. And as I read today in an article, this creates in the mind of society that if you don’t follow those advice, you become the needy woman. And no man wants that. NOOOOOOOO… men want confidence, independance… with maybe a little bit of attitude mixed with jealousy and such. I am not sure… but if you are too present, then you will get screwed.
Well… I guess it could be true if you look at my past experiences. But I also want to say… FUCK THAT! No seriously… I understand that you should protect your heart and not rush head first… that you should not give it all too soon… that you should just go with the flow. But you should NEVER try to be someone you’re not to follow the rules of the “game of love”. But love is NOT a game. It can be fun, yes… but it is not a game. You don’t play with someone’s feelings. You don’t choose to ignore someone’s feelings. There is absolutely NO rules because no one can know if they will maybe fall in love even if they try not to. You cannot put feelings in a box, you cannot control your emotions at all times.
Love is not a game. If you start applying rules… well then you take out the feeling part of it. And it’s not love anymore. It’s some sort of intellectual game to get someone else in a way or another… it’s manipulation. I don’t do manipulation. And I would suck at it anyways because I am too real and authentic. And I cannot treat others like toys. Like a trophy, like something to feel a void in me, like someone to give me pleasure. Like someone to use…
We are all imperfect. We all want to be accepted, to belong, to be loved for who we are. But many have given up on this… they don’t even know who they are anymore because they have been too afraid to be just that. They don’t think they can be loved the way they are. I might think it difficult myself, but I will never try to be someone else. It’s against my nature.
And if someone cares for you… why should they refrain from being generous, giving, affectionate, expressive? Why should they play a game of hide and seek? Why should they act like they don’t have time for you? If they want to see you, if they want to make you happy… it shows that they care and are interested. It does NOT mean however that they want to get married the next day (unless maybe yes, they are a bit… crazy). It just means they really appreciate you and want to know you better. They want to make you feel special. What is wrong with that? It’s best to try and guess when someone likes you? And if you guess to easily, then they are too easy? I don’t get it…
Yes men should not get it all without giving anything. I’ve been guilty of giving too much… And yes they are the hunters and have to be able to step up and BE MEN. And women should let them do so. But they should let us be… affectionate, emotional too… not to extremes but still. And they should STOP putting us in boxes as “needy” or “clingy” or “too easy”… Some of us know what we want. We go after it… we don’t play hard to get, we don’t PLAY. We are… we open up. We want and we give.
So stop playing those damn games. Stop asking us to play them too. We can certainly be more tamed with emotions… but we should not kill them to start intellectualizing it all. If you want to, so be it. But that void will never be filled. And you’ll never be accepted for who you are because you won’t BE who you are.
That’s my take on “the game of love”.