Tonight will be interesting. Tonight will bring back memories I think… or maybe not. I can’t really imagine what will happen tonight.
Tonight he is coming back to my place with others… He never came with other friends. It was only for our sort of secret encounters… will he remember the last time he was over in February? I will. But I’ll act as if it is the first time.
Will he make fun of me and mock me? If so will it be nice or mean? Will he act as if he’d never been here? Will he give it away? I don’t know. And I’d rather imagine the worst case scenario. Which would still be ok…
I hope tonight will be fun. Friendly. Filled with laughter. I hope I’ll be a good and respected hostess. And I hope I won’t be disappointed. I hope I can rise above the situation, my feelings, my memories, my fears, the lingering hope… and enjoy.