Hope is insane…

Hope takes you to places where reality is at times put aside. Hope makes you believe in the impossibe. Hope motivates you and gives you life, a little fire. Hope pushes you.

And because of all that, hope can make you hurt like never before.

If hope is destroyed, disappointment comes instead. And your heart breaks. It shatters into pieces. Of course it depends on the hope you had. Was it for something small or something big? For a project or for a dream? For one event or for your entire life?

So hope is insane. Because if you give in to it… then you can see your dream crumble when it does not work out. And it is really hard to get back up after that. The higher you climbed on the mountain of hope, the more painful will the fall be. You might end up knocked out for a while… or forever. Can you get back up? You might not even know or think so for a while.

Yes, hope brings life. But it can also make you crash so badly.

So what is wise? To hope or not to hope? Can one hope moderately? Or should one hope passionately? Should you trust in hope? On what should hope be based?

Hope is an emotion, it’s abstract. It’s yours only. It can be based on facts, on reality. That is slightly safer than based on feelings and instinct. After all hope concerns the future and we never know what it will made of.

Personally I cannot get rid of hope. But it might be thinning down in one area. Well it is… and at the moment I am thinking it is not a bad thing. Because I am sick of the disappointment, of the broken dream. And well you lose trust in that hope you have… like it’s not really a smart hope to have. So I do want to get rid of hope, but I cannot. And it is torture.

Maybe it’s good because it will take me to a place where I will not act anymore and try to take matters into my own hands. I will just let things happen. Unless hope brightens up again and then I’ll try again… to possibly fail again.

Hope… should you be doing something about it or not? When to know what to do or what not to do? Maybe hope is about letting go… Or hope is not hope but many other things put together: trust, patience, wisdom.

Anyways… right now hope has hurt me. And I want to not hope anymore. I don’t think I’ll manage it… so hopefully I will be able to let hope do its thing without me participating. And not be so bright that reality is put aside.

Hope makes me insane.


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